on: Sunday, May. 07, 2006 @: 8:55 p.m.

letter to my nan

i really wanted to do wat emma did in a letter unsent type thing to my nan. not really sure. i spent a lot of last night and today considering wat i would tell my nan if i cud speak to her. so here goes.
Dear Nanny,
its me Sophie. I am are you? There is so much news for me to tell you i really dont know where to start. first thing i passed my driving test, i have yet to drive to abingdon as i said i wud because that was where you wanted to go, but i will one day and go to the places we would have gone if we had gone together. my licence came on thursday and for a split second i thought oh i cant wait to show nan even if the picture is awful before realising i couldnt, well anyway i hope u can see it and laugh at the picture like i have. I'm good at eating my greens now after you spent years trying to persuade me and emma in fact i think we both are although im not sure i will ever eat brussels sprouts. Ann has lost weight-a stone i heard, so has mum and mayb dad im not sure. ive lost weight too. today i got my dress for the 6th form ball and on thursday i'll be 18. i'm sure were you here you'd be shocked at how much ive grown up. I've missed you everyday, i'm so proud of you and hope that you are of me. I hope you can be at my party in spirit. Just a thought; i remember how we always used to watch countdown together and we always used to comment on carol vorderman looking a state, it seems to have worn off on me as i now have a mysterious dislike of her and thought she didnt look very good when pictures were published of her looking 'great'. Now that summer is just around the corner i will be able to wear skirts quite often i remember you always seemed shocked when i wore skirts even thought im sure i wore them most of the time during the summer. i also remember the time i got soaked in the rain on the way to your house and you leant me some of your clothes, mum thought it was hilarious.
How i would like to take you out in my car, i can imagine you gritting your teeth commenting on how busy it is and braking with your feet despite never having been a driver yourself, i can imagine us giggling together and me being on my best behaviour to impress my nan, i would so like for you to see where i work and meet the people there im sure you'd like them, but still you'd refer to the children at camp or parties as yobbos. i can imagine you being the life and soul of my party if you were there, to quote many of my friends upon hearing you'd died you were really cool. Most of all i would like to give u a great big hug, bury my head in your chest taking in your smell and then hold your hand and lean on your shoulder. i would like to touch your skin, when i was little i always loved to touch your skin as it was so soft, i would like to go to your house completely full and be offered something to eat every 5 minutes, i would like to do a poor job of wrapping up presents for you to give to people. i would like to thank you for the money you gave me for my birthday-still thinking about others, the week after you died, mum said you had wanted me to have it. most of all i liked the way you would suddenly do something unexpected such as saying piss off! you'll never realise how shocked i was at that, i was also quite proud because my nan was cool. Most of all i would like you to take a bow and be happy knowing that i love you more than words could say, send you a great big hug and hope your happy wherever you may be. Know that you will live on in our memories forever and that you have inspired me on many levels. I have many fond memories and am smiling to myself as i write this. Enjoy our trip to abingdon, i will organise it soon, take care.
Lots of love Sophie xxxxx. heres the hug i owe you.

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